The Olympics and other things that no longer matter

  As I am wont to do when I want to appear to be doing something vaguely job-related at my office, I was perusing ESPN’s website.

One link caught my eye: the International Olympic Committee is mulling the pros and cons of some news sports, BMX and 3-on-3 basketball being among them.

All this while one of the oldest competitive sports in the world, wrestling, is trying to stave off elimination from the Olympics.

BMX, for those who don’t know, is basically dune buggy racing on a bicycle. It’s all fun and games until somebody gets hurt. And somebody will get hurt. 3-on-3 basketball is pretty self-explanatory.

Now, I like basketball as much as the next guy, but I don’t see why the IOC is worried about accommodating 3-on-3 basketball when good ol’ 5-on-5 basketball already exists. That’s like having separate volleyball and beach volleyball events! Oh, wait, that already exists.

It reminds me of this Nike commercial, run in 1998 when the NBA was on strike. I can’t put it any better than Samuel L. Jackson, so I’m not even going to try.




BMX is fine, I guess, although I have to also question why the IOC is trying to “X Games” up the Olympics while wrestling has to be shelved.

Wrestling is one of the true tests of manliness left in the world. If we can’t determine who can (quite literally) bend who to whose will, what hope does the rest of humanity have?

There was a movement a few years ago to include chess in the Olympics.

Chess? Chess is no more of a sport than Monopoly (and Monopoly is probably a million times more fun to watch on TV).

One of the hangups about chess is that the players found it insulting that they would have to be subjected to drug tests, you know, the way every other Olympic athlete is subjected to them.

As one local chess player told me, chuckling while he said so, “a chess player would never damage his brain with drugs!”

Yes, a chess player would never, ever use drugs. Just like that Lance Armstrong guy would never use them.

But talking about having chess in the Olympics while wrestling is getting thrown to the mat like Barry Horowitz battling The Rock is simply ridiculous.

Let’s get rid of badminton first. Those teams don’t even try to win.