Once again, a commercial has prompted a virtual war of words, a tirade of tantrums, a carnage of complaints, an onslaught of objections, an assault of alliterative allegories!
The guilty party was the pharmaceutical giant Johnson & Johnson, makers of the pain relief medicine Tylenol.
J&J had the unmitigated audacity to run a commercial in which a homosexual had a headache.
The sky is falling! The sky is falling!
Seriously, this bodes global disaster. If gays can have headaches, they can have toothaches, also. Are we doomed to watch men brushing their teeth together? Is nothing sacred?
Earlier this year, Hallmark Cards wreaked havoc on Earth’s orbit by featuring a same-gender couple in a Valentine’s Day commercial. OK, yeah, the world survived. But just barely.
It’s bad enough homosexuals have access to medicines, but must we share our favorite munchies with them?
Nabisco Honeymaid graham crackers and Kraft Oreos have both gone over to the dark side, running commercials featuring gay couples.
Sylvester Graham, a Presbyterian reverend, invented the graham cracker in 1829. He introduced it as a health food to thwart carnal urges, preaching that sugary foods encouraged self-abuse.
Some years later, the gay community invented S’mores. Gays 1, Sylvester 0.