Did I ever tell you about my being one of the soldiers raising the flag over Iwo Jima? Or that I received two silver stars? And five purple hearts for being wounded in battle multiple times? I was awarded the US Navy Cross, the US Air Force Distinguished Flying Cross, and I received the US Marine’s Medal of Honor for throwing myself on a grenade and saving the lives of my platoon.
Oh yeah, I also defended the Alamo, fought in the Battle of Verdun, and led the charge up San Juan Hill.
Well, maybe I’m stretching the truth a bit. Okay, outright lying is more like it. But I’ve got justice on my side!
Or more accurately, Justices.