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Isn’t life beautiful? Isn’t life gay? Isn’t life the perfect way to pass the time away?
I happen to like life. Not because the alternative is worse, but rather because it’s like strolling down a buffet of infinite choices, an endless avenue of experiences, a 24-hour a day variety show hosted by all sorts of people.
And sometimes it’s more like a talk show where you want to stand, pick up your chair, and smash it against the guy sitting next to you. Yeah, life can be fun.
But lately I get the ugly feeling that I’m on the wrong side of the screen.
My world is missing so many wonderful things that less dimensional people seem to enjoy.
For example, where’s the ominous background music that is supposed to warn me that some cretin is about to run a red light as I drive towards an intersection?
Why doesn’t my dog fetch my slippers in the morning?
(Well, actually he does, but I usually find them outside looking like a chewed up animal.)
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