A tribute to fracking oil companies

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By John Pawlak

I really do love finding reasons to admire people. And I love even more learning new ways to publicly applaud them.
Marita Noon’s column (Jan. 4) did just that. Her educating us on the benefits and safety of fracking, was both heartwarming and inspiring.
I’ve never felt so moved. Honestly, it moved me in more ways than one.
That being said, I want to publicly state that she has my total and unwavering support in this matter. I love that fact that progressive thinkers like her are out there fracking away with impunity.
Noon’s article was about how the fracking oil companies are our fracking friends.
To put this in proper perspective, I first want to emphasize that the word ‘frack’ and all its grammatical constructions now hold a special place in my vernacular. When I say frack, I mean it in the best possible way you can imagine.
What better way to compliment someone than by using “frack” to emphasize your admiration?
You’re fracking wonderful. You’re fracking remarkable.
In a word, Marita, you are a fracker extraordinaire!

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