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We each have our own list. Sunken in our minds, nearly lost in there among names of items we’ve forgotten to buy at the grocery store over the course of our lives, are insights, pure and ancient-sounding in their shrewdness.Roofers, bakers, political candidates, fast-food restaurant managers, Nobel prize laureates, movie stars, even video game geeks have these lists.We rarely discuss them during our lunch breaks, saying, “Mmmm, this is good hummus. By the way, (insert co-worker’s name), after my divorce I learned some interesting facts about blame that have really changed my entire perspective on how to act in an intimate relationship. Let me share them with you.”Maybe that would be more interesting than discussing the various ways in which we are smarter than our bosses. Maybe it would just be presumptuous.Nevertheless, at some point, we start to know what we maybe don’t need to talk about – the facts of life, or of our own lives, anyhow.Most of the time, this requires accepting some responsibility, recognizing our own patterns and cutting these patterns off before they play out their agonizing cycles.To put what is grossly abstract into a “for instance”: Nobody ever wants to get divorced.
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