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There's a good way to club the children

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By John Pawlak

Parents, do you want your child to learn more than what is usually taught in school? In my opinion, your kid should be clubbed. Yeah, at least once a week, a good club makes all the difference in the world.

I club several students every Wednesday. Usually, I employ geometric logic or a good algebraic conundrum to get their attention. Of course, I’m talking about the Math Club. You don’t have to be a geek to have fun with math, and students find that they can answer some very tricky questions with ease. Like, how many seconds are in a year? Well, there’s January 2nd. February 2nd. March 2nd. ...

LAHS has a spectrum of clubs for every possible interest. For example, the Film Society exposes students to historical and international films, broadening perspectives far beyond the more typical and intellectual films like “Dude, Where’s My Brain?” Students have great fun and get a great education at the same time. (Hey Pawlak! Keep it down! We can’t hear the movie!”)

If you enjoy hoofing it up with friends and you like to laugh until you are ... uh ... hoarse ... then the Equestrian Club is just the place for you to lope around and enjoy the mane aspects of life. Students teach one another about horses and plan a fun show for the northern N.M. area. For those who would rather shake a leg with a biped partner, they can join the Ballroom Dance Club!

¿Qué pasa en el club español? Fun, fun and more fun. An international trip, a homecoming parade float and Cinco de Mayo! ¡Qué diversión!

Then there’s the French Club, the crème de la crème of clubs, the pièce de résistance for anyone who desires Joie de vivre. Of course, if you had déjà vu, you already knew I was going to say that. N’est-ce pas?

The German Club demonstrates how Germanic culture equates to fun. They play games, host festivals, sample German foods and bring in guest speakers (who presumably come for both the fun and the food). The German Club and the French Club often mock-battle each other, clearly a holdover from the Franco-Prussian War.

Some students sing praise about their club. The Choir Club speaks the language of composition and studies world cultures through song. Members not only learn a lot, they learn it in harmony! The International Club also learns about cultures from around the world. Students share stories about other lands that share this planet with us, reminding us that responsibility doesn’t end at one’s national borders.

In the Spring, the Gay-Straight Alliance Club organizes the school-wide Diversity Week, and throughout the year the club promotes an atmosphere in which diversity is celebrated and where all students can feel accepted and valued.

Why do so many students feel the need to belong to a club? When you say, “Learn!” can you condition a student to drool? Those are excellent questions and the Psychology Club is an excellent place to answer them. What better way to learn about the world around you than to learn about the world inside your own head?

In New Jersey, students think the night sky is supposed to be one big grayish blob. But New Mexico is blessed with a billion stars, and what better place to view the universe than in the Astronomy Club? Look! Up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a ... Camelopardalis! No, not a camel, but the giraffe constellation.

Are you a sucker for big eyes, pointy chins, and little teeny noses? The Anime Club is more than just reading books from back to front. Students enjoy the “art” of some of the most expressive characters in graphic novels today.

The Verbivor is a metaphorical estaminet of the scrivened connotation, a sesquipedalian pleonasm which leverages the ubiquitous profusion of opulent locution to embrangle the faculties and minify life’s ennui. Ummm ... in other words, they love the beauty of the written word!

Students working on National History Day design projects that underscore how history is more than just a past event. This year’s theme is “Innovations that have changed history.” Students learn how our present and our future are consequences of the past, and ultimately become the past of yet another future, a continuum of meaning and purpose.

LAHS also hosts other community activities, such as Café Scientifique, a program designed to foster interest in the amazing spectrum of physical and biological science. Professionals visit to present current research to students. The last talk was on forensic seismology, analyzing the sinking of a Soviet sub. Holy Glasnost, Batman!

There are many other clubs I haven’t even mentioned.

So parents ... Club your children and let the fun begin!