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Sugar isn’t always sweet

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By John Pawlak

What the (expletive deleted) is wrong with a little (expletive deleted) swearing now and then? I mean, (expletive deleted) ... (expletive deleted) people can’t take a little (expletive deleted) joke? Who the (expletive deleted) cares about their (expletive deleted, reinserted, deleted again, rewritten back in French, translated to ancient Greek and then deleted again) opinion!!??

What exactly is swearing and why does it bother people? Would you get mad if I swore at you in Latin? Come to think of it, did the Romans even swear? When Caesar staggered back with two dozen stab wounds, he retorted  “Et tu, Brute?”

Holy gerundives, is that the best he could come up with? Personally, I would have used that last breath to tell Brutus something about his sister and the horses pulling his chariot.

Today, no one really cares if you swear in Latin. I think I would enjoy swearing in Ega (an ancient language known by about 300 people in the Ivory Coast), releasing a volley of Egan curses in public now and then just for the fun of it.

Of course, it’s just my luck an Ivory Coast tour group would be in the neighborhood and I’d go down in history for starting yet another obscure war. In that event, we can only hope that we’ll find oil over there.


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