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By Effy Krayneck
There have been rumors circling within our town that a stranger is working at our local Spitfire Grill. Many people have said that she appeared out of nowhere and others swear that they have seen her before. There is one thing that most of us can agree on: she doesn’t belong here.
But don’t think I have forgotten the purpose my column serves: getting the inside scoop. In this week’s edition of “Gilead’s Gossip,” I get to pick the brain of Gilead’s newest addition, Perchance Talbott, and ask her the burning questions to which we all want to hear the answers.
EK: Perchance Talbott, since that really sounds like your real name ... how is that you came to Gilead?
PT: It’s Percy. I was just passing through one day and it looked nice here. So I decided to stay for a while.
EK: You expect me to believe that? Hannah Ferguson doesn’t let just any passerby work at her grill.
PT: Well, would you mind telling me what I am doing working there then?
EK: Where were you before you came here?
EK: What were you doing there? Were you working? Were you living by yourself? Do you have a family? Do you –
PT: (Sighs) Since I can see that you are a person who does not leave things alone, I guess it will be easier to just be straight with you. I wasn’t in Detroit. I was in prison. For the past five years. OK?
EK: Oh. Prison? Oh my. What were you doing in prison? Did you steal? Were you an accomplice to a crime? Did you kill somebody?
PT: I’ll let you use your imagination on that one. I can tell you that I was only locked up in solitary three times. So, that was quite an accomplishment.
EK: I see. How do you find working at The Spitfire Grill?
PT: Well, I’m not a cook, I don’t know anyone in town and I barely make enough tips to rub two coins together. So how do you think it is working there?
EK: So you probably won’t be staying in Gilead much longer then, will you?
PT: I can’t say for sure. Gilead is much different than I expected it to be, but I don’t think I’ll give up on it just yet.
EK: What did you expect Gilead to be?
PT: I found a picture in a magazine that showed this beautiful creek surrounded by trees that seemed to be every color of the rainbow. It looked so peaceful, and peaceful is something that I really need in my life right now.
EK: Well, I am not sure Gilead is right for you.
PT: Maybe, maybe not. Only time will tell, I guess.
Stay tuned for the next issues of “Gilead’s Gossip,” where long-time residents share how they are adjusting to this newcomer.
Editor’s note: The interview above is part of a series to promote the Los Alamos Little Theater’s next production, “The Spitfire Grill.” The interview, writer and mugshot are fictitious. Brenna Moore wrote the story. The Spitfire Grill will be performed at 7:30 p.m. May 7, 8, 14 15, 21 and 22 as well as at 2 p.m. May 9 and 16 at LALT.