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My puppy is sleeping beside me on the couch. She’s breathing evenly, her whole long, spotted torso rising and sinking back into the cushions with a little flutter. When I place my hand over her chest, I realize the flutter is her heart beating.
My older dog is asleep on the floor about 4 feet away. He breathes loudly, his nose a tiny black amphitheater. Unlike the puppy, he’s thick with fur. He’s a living pillow, his heart deep in his downy body.
I don’t know how anyone can worry in the company of these two drowsy dogs. But until two weeks ago, I couldn’t stop worrying.
And now life has changed completely. Last Monday, my husband and I saw Dr. Michael Ruma, a prenatal specialist in Santa Fe.
After the technician conducted a full scan of our baby’s anatomy and my reproductive anatomy and after the doctor double-checked every single one of her measurements, he talked with us for a long time.
He answered every one of our questions and since our appointment, for the first time, I believe my body is a safe place for a baby.
I know I won’t hurt it. I can walk the dogs on the icy roads, I can vacuum, I can even dance and jump – and our baby is 100 percent protected by my expanding, healthy uterus.
This kind of calm is utterly new to me.
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