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A roundabout approach to stupid

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An abundance of paint chip chewers populate the area

The dim light in the morning made it difficult for me to see her at first, but as it turned out, it wasn’t the light that was dim.  
She was walking down the side of the road, with the traffic.  She could have used the sidewalk, but I suppose she figured the baby carriage she was pushing would help cushion the blow in the event a car happened to hit her.
 The person in front of me at the “15 items” register was buying out the Eggo waffles, frozen peas, and little French bread pizzas. It was one of those “Buy 10 and save” sales and he had twenty of each in his shopping cart.  
I hazarded a comment and told him that his sixty items exceeded the fifteen item limit and he said, “No no, you misunderstand.  I only have three items.  Eggo waffles, frozen peas, and pizzas.”  I left well enough alone, realizing that the one thing that was in fact 15 or less was his IQ.
At the ATM, the woman withdrew a few hundred dollars.  She then stood there counting the money.  Counting the money.  Counting the money.  Counting the money.  Two minutes later, she was counting the money.  Now, it looked to me to be about 15 $20 bills.  I suppose that if she had withdrawn $200, she could have more easily counted 10 bills by using her fingers.  Counting to 15 was clearly taxing her limits.  
I’m fairly patient, but I decided to leave.  She’s probably still there - counting the money.
Forrest Gump said, “Stupid is as stupid does” and I see a lot of does around these days.  The question I usually ask is, “How can some people fit so much stupid in one head?”  
Okay, it’s not nice to call people stupid, but my Thesaurus simply doesn’t seem to have a better adjective for the guy I saw last week driving down the road while holding a cup of coffee in one hand.  
That’s not the worst thing, is it?  But he was holding a cell phone in the other hand.  I can only presume he was using his knees to hold the steering wheel steady.  Stupid is as stupid does?  How about stupid is as stupid is?
Sometimes it seems like an epidemic of brain drain.  
Living in a desert climate and watching people throw lit cigarettes out their car windows.  
People standing in a supermarket aisle with their carts side by side, talking about the weather in Kalamazoo and not noticing the line of shoppers who are trying to get by them.
But let’s not just focus on the isolated cases of stupidity we witness every day.  We only have so much space on the Opinions Page.  So let’s digress.
How about the U-turn at the light at Jemez Road and Diamond Drive?  The person who designed that clearly chewed on one paint chip too many, but how stupid were the people who hired him?  Or how about the turn onto the bridge when you come onto Diamond Drive?  Ever notice how it’s banked the wrong way?  (You probably have when it’s icy)  Yeah, another paint chip chewer.  
Maybe this was the same guy who came up with the brilliant idea of taking away parking spaces to make room for “bump outs” on Central Ave.  I haven’t met anyone yet who thinks this was a smart idea.  Come on, feel free to join me in the chant.  Paint chip chewer!  Paint chip chewer!
But the best of them all is the proposed roundabouts on Trinity.  This level of stupidity would challenge any college level topology class as stupidity to the 15th power.  Is there really a limit to how much stupid people can fit into one head?  
The real insult is that our decision makers couldn’t even come up with this much stupid on their own.  They had to pay someone to think of it instead.
Looking for stupid on sale?  Come on down to Los Alamos!  If you don’t want to buy a bridge, we’ll sell you a roundabout.
 
 John Pawlak
 Los Alamos Columnist