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A poll for modern times

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Throw the data out and adjust for desired results

By John Pawlak

Months before the 2008 Presidential race began, I read a poll that predicted who would win the election.  At that time, no one had even formally announced their candidacy, and yet the polls raged on.  I think some guy named Paul Reubens was the leading contender. Polling once again besieged us over the months before the 2010 elections and I found myself unplugging the phone in an effort to ward them off.
Americans are constantly inundated with polls; polls on who will win, polls on who should win, polls on who would leave the country if who wins.  
The problem with polls is that they don’t address the issues that affect our daily lives.  Instead, billions of dollars are spent collecting and analyzing data on what color combination works best for a candidate’s button.
What we need is a poll for modern times, a poll for real people, one that addresses real issues.  And so I decided to design my own poll.  I queried several hundred people, applied a quintic regression, added the square root of insanity, divided by the phases of the moon and added a dash of nutmeg.  
Then I threw the data out and adjusted the results to match what I know they should be.
Here are the results of my “Poll for Modern Times.”


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