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Political types write funny. Not funny, ha, ha, but funny strange. One example is that all the opponents are “failedpolicies,” as if the alleged failing are one word. Or for the left, “waronwomen.” Fate placed me on some political email lists. Punishment for sins.
Rep. Ron Barber of Tucson, Ariz., does it best. Emails come most days. Rather than running on his record, he has decided the conservative mega-rich Koch brothers are the problem. The March 31 email says, “Harold — I’m sorry for being so blunt.”
Barber emails usually close with a pitch for money, often three dollars, which seems an odd amount. Clearly the advisors have decided three dollars makes for a soft enough touch that recipients will help Barber hold the line against the Kochs.
An art exists to all this. Solicitations are to start with an attention grabbing invocation of the apocalypse and close with asking for money.
In a March 25 blog post, Steve Terrell, political writer at The Santa Fe New Mexican, reported results of a poll that said Attorney General Gary King led the five Democrats running for governor with 34 percent. Then it was Sen. Howie Morales, 15 percent; Sen. Linda Lopez, 13 percent; Lawrence Rael, seven percent; Alan Weber, five percent.
At the pre-primary convention Morales won with 29 percent, surprising all, as did King’s last place 10.5 percent. Weber was second at 21 percent, Rael had 20 percent with Lopez at 18 percent.
Morales exulted in a March 9 email. “What an amazing day yesterday! Nearly 1,500 Democrats… chose me to be their candidate!” (Note the exclamation points.) Gov. Susana Martinez, he continued, “knows that there is a storm brewing amongst Democrats and all New Mexicans and that we will stop at nothing to defeat her in the fall.”
Seriously? Stop at nothing?
On April 2, Morales emailed, “We must work harder to improve the lives of New Mexicans through better job opportunities and new sources of investment in our economy — two of the clearest ways to do so is (sic) to raise the minimum wage and ensure that pay equity is a reality for all New Mexicans.” This is a non sequitur. Morales should explain how higher costs lead to more investment.
Lopez emailed after filing the additional petition signatures needed to get on the ballot. She thanked supporters for making it “possible for me to continue this journey.” To ignite her campaign, Lopez offered, “It is time for Democrats… to move beyond the “good ol’ boys” network and to fight fire with fire! I am the fire that can win…”
Allen Weh, Republican Senate candidate says, “Washington is broken, too many Senators don’t have a lick of commonsense (or a speck of military service) and I’m on a mission to clean up the mess.” I emailed Weh’s press representative and asked appropriate number of senseless Senators. No reply.
On March 26, Weh called his race against Sen. Tom Udall “an interesting journey,” a curiously mushy word from an ex-marine who grows raspberries.
John Wertheim, state treasurer candidate, said in February, “We lost two heart-breaking battles this legislative session. One was raising the minimum wage to lift working families out of poverty. The other was funding Early Childhood Education…”
Wow! Anguish, broken hearts. Wertheim continues, evoking other images unrelated to being state treasurer. “Republican obstructionists… dedicated organizers and activists… critical progressive issues…”
These words have meaning. Pay some attention before the election. My partial solution to the deluge has been to put Rob Barber on my email blacklist. I will be less amused, but also less distracted by limiting perspective to New Mexico.