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MLB playoffs: "Frightfully unsatisfying…" –Me, just now

Here's a quick recap of the Major League Baseball playoffs so far, in case you missed anything:

 

National League

 

San Francisco vs. Cincinnati

 

Game 1: Cincinnati picks up a solid win in San Francisco. With a 1-0 advantage and three games looming at home, the Reds already appear to be well in the driver's seat

Game 2: The Reds crush the Giants! The Giants on the brink of elimination! The Reds are a lock, a lock I tell ya'!

Game 3: Well, the Giants pulled out one in extra innings over the Reds in Cincinnati. No reason to panic, though. Reds are still up 2-1 and two more at home. What are the odds that…

Game 4: Oh, bother.

Game 5: Dear hiring committee, my name is Dusty Baker, soon to be former manager of the Cincinnati Reds…

 

St. Louis vs. Washington

 

Game 1: Washington wins 3-2. D.C. celebrates something other than Congress being on recess!

Game 2: St. Louis 12, Washington much less than 12. Ouch. Where's that Strasburg kid? Can we get him warmed up?

Game 3: St. Louis 8-0. Seriously, just a couple of innings?

Game 4: Werth cracks a walk-off homer! Stephen who? Washington's pitching can close this series out no problem!

Game 5: Down to one strike! Washington can't possibly lo-- Oh, wait. Now I remember. Strasburg, Stephen. 6-foot-4, 220 pounds. Originally from San Diego, California…

 

American League

 

Oakland vs. Detroit

 

Game 1-4: Detroit, Detroit, Oakland, Oakland. With Oakland/Detroit on the verge of winning this series, Detroit/Oakland faces the prospect of another offseason wondering what might have been…

Game 5: Hey, you remember that series against the Red Sox that Oakland would've won if one of two runners had just bothered to go and touch home plate instead of stopping to explain the rules to the umpires and getting tagged out? I thought that was kinda funny.

 

Baltimore vs. New York

 

Game 1: The Orioles score two runs. They lose.

Game 2: The Orioles score three runs. They win.

Game 3: The Orioles score two runs. They lose in extra innings.

Game 4: The Orioles score two runs. They win in extras. They don't yet see the pattern that scoring runs is an important part of winning baseball games. Everybody but the Orioles sees where this is going.

Game 5: The Yankees score three runs. A-Rod weeps in his tent. The Orioles score one run. They lose. They lament not scoring two runs. Just because.