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I'm living with it, not dying from it

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By Kay Kerbyson

What happens when a cheerleader loses her pom-poms, or a Wall Street protester loses their sign, or Tigger just loses his bounce.
All of us, when pushed to the limit, lose our hope, our drive, our energy.
In the face of a cancer diagnosis, there can be courage, determination and cockiness in the face of adversity, but fighting cancer is no picnic, and it consumes all your strength. So what happens when it consumes your life, when you live with cancer as a chronic disease ... when you’ve just been diagnosed with cancer for the third time in five years.
Then life can suddenly seem as though its determined to undermine you, and the only thing to do is throw in the towel and say, “oh well, I guess I’m just screwed.”
That was me, two months ago. I know, the cancer advocate, the inspirational writer and speaker, the mom of young children who has everything to live for. What I’m saying is that it happens to most of us in the worst of times, and recurrent cancer seems like the worst of times.
Many people ask me how I do it, live knowing that my cancer will always return. Usually, I’ll tell them that I’m winging it, that it’s not how hard you fall it’s how you get up that counts, but this time was something different. I just fell flat on my face.


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