.....Advertisement.....
.....Advertisement.....

But I digress...Warning: Don't snort dog kibble!

-A A +A
By John Pawlak

We got new cell phones the other day.

The first thing we did was read the user’s manual, which started right out with three pages of warnings. “Never use an unapproved battery.” Okay, that’s reasonable. “Do not disassemble the phone.” Well, I hadn’t planned on doing that, so it looks like we’re doing fine so far. “Never place your phone in a microwave oven.” Well, I sure am glad they warned me about that. But the manual didn’t say anything about putting the phone in a washing machine. Maybe I should have used the delicate cycle?

Ever notice the warning label on the folding sun shield for your car?  “Do not drive with sun shield in place.” Batteries in microwave ovens? Driving with the windshield covered? Try to imagine the people for whom these warnings are necessary. And then consider the fact that they vote. Scary, eh?

A bottle of dog shampoo comes with the warning, “The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish.” The label on a hair dryer warns, “Do not use while sleeping.” The toner for a printer warns, “Do not eat toner.” What a shame, eh? It goes so well with Cajun shrimp.

Seriously, does the American public need to be told not to use silly putty as ear plugs?


If you subscribe to the newspaper, you receive FREE access to all the exclusive content of the web site! Simply register to receive uninterrupted access to our award-winning and in-depth local online content!

Renew Current or Past Subscription / Register for Online Subscription

If you currently subscribe or have subscribed in the past to the Los Alamos Monitor, then simply find your account number on your mailing label and enter it below.

Click the question mark below to see where your account ID appears on your mailing label.

Newspaper Acct. ID:
info
Street Address:
(exactly as it appears on the label)

If you are a subscriber and you do not know your account ID or don't have a copy of your newspaper available that shows the information on the address label you can click continue below to search for your account.

New Subscription/30 Day Free Trial Account

If you are new to the award winning Los Alamos Monitor and wish to get a subscription or simply gain access to our online content then please enter your ZIP code below and continue to setup your account.

ZIP Code:



Create a limited access account.
Register to participate in community forums, post on the community calendar, blog etc. This registration does not give you full access to read our award winning content, etc.

The Los Alamos Monitor | lacirculation@lamonitor.com | 505-662-4185
256 DP Road, Los Alamos, NM 87544
Office Hours are 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m., Monday through Friday