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Have your day your way

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By John Pawlak

“A small Greek letter, with irrational beauty, one without an end.”

Yes, my fellow nerds, that is indeed a Pi-ku that I wrote in tribute to Pi-day. As isolated as revelers of the number pi usually are, Pi-day was national news earlier this month.  Pi-kus (a haiku written about pi) abounded as did pi-limericks and of course pie eating celebrations.

And yet, how many people went marching in town parades to celebrate the corndog? (National Corndog Day was March 21.) While many citizens did take time to contemplate the historical significance of Brutus Day (March 15 – the Ides of March), others were partying it up in Hinckley Township at the Annual Buzzard Day breakfast festival held to welcome the annual return of turkey buzzards back to Cleveland’s metroparks.

So many holidays, so few days of the year!  A century ago, there were only a dozen or so days recognized as meriting notice, and far less that had any actual festivals associated with them.  But now we have Groundhog Day, Valentines Day, Mother’s Day, Father's Day, Grandparents Day, Secretary Appreciation Day, Boss Appreciation Day, Teacher Appreciation Day, Military Appreciation Day, Squirrel Appreciation Day ... uh, OK.  

This is great for the squirrels, but who can afford all the greeting cards you have to send now?

Finding a reason to celebrate has become an American tradition and calendars are now filled with thousands of “National Whatever” days designed to amuse and entertain even the dullest among us. Are you a Trekkie?  

Well then, wear your pointy ears and drink Klingon blood wine on Sept. 8  to commemorate the premier of Star Trek.  Nuts about peanuts?  “Spread” the good word on National Peanut Butter day, Jan. 24.  Can’t get enough of New Mexico’s red and green? Party it up on National Chili Day, Feb. 22.

Each year in mid-September, students from coast to coast now don eye patches on “Talk like a Pirate Day” (9/19).  AARGH!  Shiver me timbers!  What future be there for ye young puppies?

Observers of “National Backwards Day” are anxiously looking “forward” to their annual celebration on Jan. 31. Yeah, I know, that’s already past us ... but only if you’re looking in the wrong direction! I do have to wonder why it isn’t called Sdrawkcab Lanoitan Day.

Personally, I’m more inclined to partake in more culinary celebrations such as National Peach Cobbler Day (April 13), National Ice Cream Day (July 19), or National Spumoni Day (Aug. 21).  Those who want to show their patriotic side can dig in on National Pigs-in-a-blanket Day (April 24).

Yes, days have been set aside to celebrate the raisin, the fig, watermelons, pickled peppers, papayas, and the baked bean.  There is Chewing Gum Day, Trivia Day, Twinkie Day, and even National Gumdrop Day.

Perhaps this is as it should be.  In a world filled with non-secular hatred, open hostilities, nuclear proliferation, environmental destruction and economic collapse, we need to work harder to find something good to cheer about, even if it’s only a garlic clove or a jellybean (yes, they have their days too).

Do you find all of this to be annoying? Would you like to complain about so many days now being observed? Then complain all day long on National Grouch Day (Oct. 15).

Come on, loosen up and enjoy the silliness of it all! Towns across the nation have all sorts of annual events designed solely to give people an excuse to have fun. Whether one enjoys good old fashioned fun by celebrating Watermelon Seed Spitting Day or one prefers National Caviar Day (do you get to spit that too?), there’s something for everyone.

The real treat is that you don’t have to wait for someone else to invent a “day” for you. Go ahead, be creative.  Let your hair down and deem it “Bad Hair Day.” Un-tuck that shirt, wrap medical tape around your eyeglasses and proudly announce that you are observing “Nerds are Great Day.” Talk like a Dentist! Walk like a penguin!

The zanier, the better!  Go ahead, have some fun and declare it “National Hairball Awareness Day” or “Don’t Step on a Bee Day.” Oh wait, those two already exist! But you get the idea. Why wait for holidays to have some fun?  

Life is far too short and too special to allow the myriad of events to pass us by every day without some fanfare.

Don’t wait for “Your Day” to come ... make it today!

Now, if I made any punctuation errors in this column, please wait until Sept. 24 to let me know.  

That’s National Punctuation Day.