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Disciplining Toto

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By John Pawlak

 

Toto, you’ve been a bad little girl. In the Land of Oz, I would punish you by making you listen to a bunch of Munchkins sing, but we’re back in Kansas. So now, I suppose I’ll just have to beat you senseless.

Whack! Just remember that disciplining you is a sign of love, OK? Whack!

OK? Toto? Ah, damn it! Uh, anyone know how to resuscitate a dog?

Kansas is an interesting state.

The Kansas State motto is “Per Aspera Ad Astra”, meaning “To the stars through difficulty.” It’s ironic that Kansas would use Latin for its state motto. Back in 2007, the Kansas House and Senate passed bill H.B. 2140, making English the state’s official language.

A spokesperson for the bill said, “English-speaking Kansans deserve to know that their tax dollars will not continue to perpetuate unfettered government translations.”

Being an English-speaker myself, I’m not quite sure what that means. Will tax dollars now be used to perpetuate fettered translations?

Maybe it would make more sense if they said it in Latin?

Long before Dorothy equated a Technicolor vantage point to not being in Kansas anymore, Kansans were well known for their black and white perspective of the world. Blue laws abounded in stupidity.


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