Cupid's sweet lament

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Lover's day looms just over the horizon

By John Pawlak

The Chocolate Doo Doo Drop gift bag. Now, I bet you never had anyone start off a conversation by saying that, eh?
A chocolate doo doo drop is an extruded pile of milk chocolate “attractively packaged and nestled on a small pile of green grass” and wrapped in cellophane. The perfect gift for that special friend who gave you that yellow and purple checkered sweater for Christmas.
Of course, if $30 a pound for “extruded” chocolate is a bit more than you want to spend, there are other organic options.
H. Mencken said, “No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American people.”
My tendency to give people credit for neural activity has always held me back from the fortunes that others make.
Consider Botox. I remember when I first heard about this stuff. Come on, ladies!  Injecting your face with a dangerous toxin (botulinum, which can cause botulism) to smooth those wrinkles?
The guys who invested in toxifying women’s faces were the smart ones. It just never occurred to me that anyone would pay to put their face into a coma.
But what I wanted to talk about today was candy, not Botox. If someone out there claimed that stuffing milk chocolate into your ears would make your teeth brighter, I’m sure someone would buy it.

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