Clubbing kids is fun

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By John Pawlak

Parents — do you want your child to learn more than what is usually taught in school?  
Well then, my advice is that you should club your kid. Yeah, at least once a week — a good clubbing makes all the difference in the world.   
Over the past few years, I’ve clubbed dozens of students every week.  Usually, I employ geometric logic or a good algebraic conundrum to get their attention.  
Of course, I’m talking about the Math Club.  You don’t have to be a geek to have fun with math, and students find that they can answer some very tricky questions with ease.  
Like, how many seconds are in a year?  Well, there’s January 2nd.  February 2nd.  March 2nd.
Los Alamos High School has a spectrum of clubs for every possible interest.
For example, the Film Society exposes students to historical and international films, broadening perspectives far beyond the more typical and intellectual films like “Dude, Where’s My Brain?”
If you’d rather hoof it up with friends and you like to laugh until you’re “hoarse,” the Equestrian Club is just the place for you to lope around and enjoy the mane aspects of life.  
Students teach one another about horses and plan a fun show for the northern New Mexico area.   For those who would rather shake a leg with a biped partner, they can join the Ballroom Dance Club!
Que pasa en el Club Espanol?  Fun, fun and more fun.  Some wonderful food sampling, a homecoming parade float, and Cinco de Mayo!  Que diversion!
  Then there’s the French Club, the creme de la creme of clubs, the piece de resistance for anyone who desires joie de vivre.  Of course, if you had de ja vu, you already knew I was going to say that.   N’est-ce pas? The German Club demonstrates how Germanic culture equates to fun. They play games, host festivals, sample German foods and bring in guest speakers.   
The German Club and the French Club often mock-battle each other, clearly a hold-over from the Franco-Prussian War. Some students sing praise about their club.  
The Choir Club speaks the language of composition and studies world cultures through song. Members not only learn a lot, they learn it in harmony! If you love music but can’t sing, how about striking a chord with the Band or Ensemble clubs? The International Club also learns about cultures from around the world. Students share stories about other lands that share this planet with us, reminding us that responsibility doesn’t end at one’s national borders.
In the spring, the Gay-Straight Alliance Club organizes the school-wide Diversity Week, and throughout the year the club promotes an atmosphere in which diversity is celebrated and where all students can feel accepted and valued.
 Are you a sucker for big eyes, pointy chins and little teeny noses?  The Anime Club is more than just reading books from back to front. Students enjoy the “art” of some of the most expressive characters in graphic novels today.
The Verbivor is a metaphorical estaminet of the scrivened connotation, a sesquipedalian pleonasm, which leverages the ubiquitous profusion of opulent locution to embrangle the faculties and minify life’s ennui.  If you love the beauty of the written word, try out the Creative Writing Club.
 Students in the National History Day Club design projects that underscore how history is more than just a past event.  
Students learn how our present and our future are consequences of the past, and ultimately become the past of yet another future, a continuum of meaning and purpose.
Join the Auto Club and get greasy! Join the Key Club and learn the keys to success! Make your move with the Chess Club. Act your best with the Olions. Fight alien transformers with the Robotics Club.
There are so many other clubs I haven’t even mentioned.  
So parents, club your children and let the fun begin!
 John Pawlak
 Los Alamos columnist