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Chewing the fat about gum

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Study claims students allowed to chew gum scored higher

By John Pawlak

Two young adults sit alone, staring into each other’s eyes.  They move closer.  Closer.  
A smile slowly forms on their faces and the man reaches into his pocket to take out a packet designed especially for this occasion.  
But it’s empty!  His smile quickly morphs into panic.  He rushes to the pharmacy, but it’s closed.  He needs that packet.  His girlfriend won’t wait forever.  What is he to do?
And then he sees a friend in a nearby steamed up car, knocks on the window, and his friend gives him what he needs.  
Yes, his package of Dentyne minty fresh gum was empty, but now he’s properly equipped for the night.  He and his girlfriend snuggle back onto the couch as the background sings “Practice safe breath!”
Times have changed, haven’t they?  But not all that much.  Back in the late 60s, a 19-year-old Victoria Principal struts down a beach in her sexy two piece bathing suit.  
As she passes a pair of older women, the narrator says, “There’s Kathy.  Know what people say about her?”  Then one of the older women says with an envious smile, “She has the freshest mouth in town!”  


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