- Special Sections
- Public Notices
If New Mexico newspapers are to compete in a tech world that has changed the rules of the competitive game, they need to adapt.No more calling your local columnist the old fashioned way. Remember? You dial. He answers. You converse. That is so yesterday.To lead my colleagues into the new age of communication and customer service, this column is establishing a modern system with agents in a far land trained to give immediate and courteous service to its readers.Here’s what you can expect when you dial my number.“Hello. Thank you so much for your call. We live and breathe to serve you. We have recently updated our telephone menu. Please pay close attention. If you want to yell at the columnist and tell him he is a liberal idiot, press 1. If you want to tell him you’ve seen better writing on bathroom walls, press 2. If you want to comment on a column you found particularly clever, amusing or insightful, press 3 and you will be answered in 1.5 seconds.“If you are calling for any other reason, press 0 and you will eventually talk to a human being.“Thank you for calling our customer service center. We live and breathe to serve you. Your call is number 167 in line.“Thank you for waiting 2 hours and 43 minutes. We live and breathe to serve you. You will be connected to an actual human in actual moments.”Finally: “Allo.
If you currently subscribe or have subscribed in the past to the Los Alamos Monitor, then simply find your account number on your mailing label and enter it below.
Click the question mark below to see where your account ID appears on your mailing label.
If you are new to the award winning Los Alamos Monitor and wish to get a subscription or simply gain access to our online content then please enter your ZIP code below and continue to setup your account.