If New Mexico newspapers are to compete in a tech world that has changed the rules of the competitive game, they need to adapt.No more calling your local columnist the old fashioned way. Remember? You dial. He answers. You converse. That is so yesterday.To lead my colleagues into the new age of communication and customer service, this column is establishing a modern system with agents in a far land trained to give immediate and courteous service to its readers.Here’s what you can expect when you dial my number.“Hello. Thank you so much for your call. We live and breathe to serve you. We have recently updated our telephone menu. Please pay close attention. If you want to yell at the columnist and tell him he is a liberal idiot, press 1. If you want to tell him you’ve seen better writing on bathroom walls, press 2. If you want to comment on a column you found particularly clever, amusing or insightful, press 3 and you will be answered in 1.5 seconds.“If you are calling for any other reason, press 0 and you will eventually talk to a human being.“Thank you for calling our customer service center. We live and breathe to serve you. Your call is number 167 in line.“Thank you for waiting 2 hours and 43 minutes. We live and breathe to serve you. You will be connected to an actual human in actual moments.”Finally: “Allo.
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