2009: What a strange year

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By John Pawlak

With the advent of each new year, we can’t help but reminisce about the good times we had over the past twelve months. Buying your first house. Picking out that new expensive carpet. Bringing home a puppy for your kids. Buying a new carpet after the puppy ruined the carpet in your new house. Yeah, you can’t help but smile as you look back.

Perhaps the best way to say au revoir (or Good Riddance) to 2009 is to recall some of the highlights that entertained the nation.

Leading the pack was Utah that passed legislation that made it illegal to provide birth control to animals. A strange law, yes, but I found it stranger to consider exactly how one gets an antelope or rabbit to wear a condom.

Who could forget the Christmas rush for “that perfect present”? Well, the Miller Park Zoo in Illinois solved the problem by selling reindeer-dung necklaces. For music fans, another popular gift was perfume made using DNA samples from Michael Jackson’s hair follicles.

The company selling the celebrity fragrance also offered perfumes made from the hair of Elvis Presley, Marilyn Monroe and even Napoleon Bonaparte. For those who prefer a human touch, a Melbourne outfit offers jewelry fitted with your own incisors and molars, and “other donated pieces” of your body.

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